Assuming I've understood your question correctly and you are only interested in equivalence relations that respect some given operations and/or relations (as opposed to "all" operations and relations at the same time, which I suspect would lead you to only the identity or the total relation), let me give you the punchline first: an equivalence relation will "respect the operations and the relations" if and only if it is a substructure when considered as a subset of $U\times U$, where $U\times U$ is given the "coordinatewise" structure in the obvious way.
The concept you are looking for is that of a congruence, and is studied in universal algebra.
Suppose that you have a set $U$ with operators $\{f_i\}_{i\in I}$, with $f_i$ of arity $n_i$; and relations $\{R_j\}_{j\in J}$ with $R_j$ and $m_j$-ary relation. Let $\sim$ be an equivalence relation which "respects the operations", so that if $a_1,\ldots,a_{n_i},b_1,\ldots,b_{n_i}\in U$, $a_k\sim b_k$, then $f_i(a_1,\ldots,a_{n_i})\sim f_i(b_1,\ldots,b_{n_i})$, and and if $c_1,\ldots,c_{m_j},d_1,\ldots,d_{m_j}\in U$ with $c_k\sim d_k$ and $(c_1,\ldots,c_{m_j})\in R_j$, then $(d_1,\ldots,d_{m_j})\in R_j$. Then $\sim$, considered as subset of $U\times U$ is closed under each of $f_i\times f_i$, and the restrictions of $R_j\times R_j$ work just as needed to make $\sim$ into a substructure of $U\times U$.
Conversely, if $\sim$ is an equivalence relation that is also a substructure of $U\times U$, then if $a_k\sim b_k$ you have $(a_1,b_1),\ldots,(a_{n_i},b_{n_i})\in \sim$, so $$f_i\times f_i\bigl((a_1,b_1),\ldots,(a_{n_i},b_{n_i})\bigr) = \bigl(f_i(a_1,\ldots,a_{n_i}),f_i(b_1,\ldots,b_{n_i})\bigr)\in\sim,$$
hence $f_i(a_1,\ldots,a_{n_i})\sim f_i(b_1,\ldots,b_{n_i})$; similarly with the relations.
So an equivalence relation "respects the operations and relations" if and only if it is a substructure of $U\times U$.
There is a theorem that is completely analogous to the usual Isomorphism Theorems for groups and rings, for congruences (in fact, the theorems for groups and rings are special cases). If you are interested in this, you can see Gratzer's book (titled "Universal Algebra"), or George Bergman's An Invitation to General Algebra and Universal Constructions. (Though the material on universal algebra is in Chapter 8; Gratzer will get to this much quicker).
P.S. You need to be careful with relational algebras; in general, defining a substructure is a bit tricky; if you think of functions as special kinds of relations, you can see that you need some kind of "relational closure" for your set to be a substructure; but if you define substructures adequately, then the condition on $\sim$ that it be a substructure of $U\times U$ will take care of it.